…continued from Part One
We are, as Dr. O’Malley put it his article,”Waiting for Gabriel,” one of those couples who finally became pregnant.
I winced when I read his words. I had forgotten the pain associated with hearing those stories.
However, I see that the pain of infertility does remain after the long-awaited baby arrives.
I’d like to feel normal and healthy, but the endometriosis is still here.
I wish for intimacy without pain, but the endometriosis is still here.
I’m ready for another little one, but the endometriosis is still here.
Gratitude. Sometimes it’s hard to have. The thing is, I am grateful. I am happy. My restlessness was not “cured” because I had a child, but because, after the birth of that child, after experiencing terrible baby blues, after “achieving” the life I had longed for and found that life just as difficult, just as hard, if not harder, than the life before, I sought help. Not just medical help. I am powerless over so much, and yet God is faithful. But I needed to see that in all areas of my life, not just with regards my fertility.
So, yes, I am grateful. I have a beautiful son. I have found peace in my life. I know that, however life happens, no matter the circumstances, good or bad, God will continue to bless our family with an abundance of love.
But the heart has been stirred. I’d like another little one. My husband would like another little one. I think our son would like a sibling, though he doesn’t know it yet.
And thus begins another infertility journey.
Here’s what I want and don’t want to do: I want to be honest. Endo stinks. But I don’t want to be a whiner. I’ve been whining about it this past week, here on the blog. Sorry about that.
Instead, I want to live in faith. God is good, all the time!
Will you pray for me? Pray that I might be cheerful? Pray that I might be content?
And (dare I ask, publically?) pray that we might be blessed with another little one?